The Soothing Ladder Method: New Parent’s Guide to Getting Baby to Sleep
As a new parent, I remember feeling overwhelmed and anxious when my daughter and especially my son (since he had reflux) would cry for what seemed like hours on end. Sometimes it would be all of us crying together because I had no clue how to stop them from crying. I thought I had figured it out with my daughter with some trial and error but my son was an entirely different baby compared to my daughter since we were dealing with possible allergies, reflux, feeding issues, and so much more with him that added to endless crying. I tried everything I could think of to soothe him - rocking, bouncing, singing - but nothing seemed to work. I felt like a failure like I wasn't cut out for this whole parenting thing after all.
Since I knew I had helped my daughter overcome her crying spells and got her to eventually sleep better even though it took us some time—I knew I could do it with my son as well. I just needed to implement some different strategies that work for him instead of what I used with my daughter. This was all before I became a pediatric sleep consultant so I was kind of doing my own research on how to improve sleep for us.
I came across the Soothing Ladder method, developed by Heather Turgeon and Julie Wright. At first, I was skeptical—would this really work when nothing else had? But I was willing to try anything to help my little man find sleep.
As I began to work my way through the different steps of the ladder, I noticed a change in my baby's demeanor. He was calmer, more relaxed, and seemed to respond positively to my techniques. It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders - I finally felt like I had some tools in my toolbox to help soothe my son in a gentle and effective way. Now I wish I knew about this method when my daughter was a baby.
Through my own experience, I discovered the power of the Soothing Ladder method and how it can be a game-changer for new parents struggling to soothe their new bundle of joy. If you want to learn more about the Soothing Ladder method and how you can implement it to help get your baby to sleep then keep reading.
What is the Soothing Ladder Method?
The Soothing Ladder is a method that helps parents understand and respond to their baby's needs in a way that promotes healthy attachment and emotional regulation. The ladder has seven steps, with each step representing a different strategy to soothe a baby. This method also allows parents to better understand how their baby responds to different soothing strategies. Once you figure out which soothing method your baby responds to the best, you can continue using that method if your baby needs a little bit more TLC to help get them to sleep.
When can I start using the Soothing Ladder Method?
You can start using this method honestly when YOU ARE READY! This is a method where the parents are very responsive, present, and available to help soothe their baby so you can use this method within the first few weeks—maybe 2-3 weeks after the baby is born. If your baby is much older than that, you can still use it especially if you have not implemented any sort of sleep-teaching strategies with them yet. I probably would not recommend this after about 7-8 months though as after this point, the baby gets very active, alert, and aware causing them to even consider it a game.
How does the Soothing Ladder work?
The Soothing Ladder is based on the concept of responsive parenting, which means tuning in to your baby's signals and responding in a way that meets their needs. The seven steps of the ladder provide a framework for parents to use as they work to calm and soothe their baby.
Follow each of these steps starting with step 1 and moving up the ladder every 10-30 seconds depending on the baby’s age. If your baby still does not soothe to sleep even after step 6 then you can repeat the soothing ladder about 2-3 times before taking step 7. If your baby does not fall asleep even after the feed then you can offer a contact nap if you are implementing this for naps or hold them till they are in deep sleep and then transfer if you are doing this for bedtime. You can also implement the soothing ladder during overnight wakings. If it's a feeding time then do all the steps including step 7 but if it is not a feeding time then repeat steps 1-6 2-3 times before feeding them. This will help delay the feed slightly or maybe get them back to sleep without them needing a feeding especially if you think they do not need a feed at that time. One thing to remember is that you shouldn’t be up for hours in the middle of the night practicing this. Practice for 15-20 minutes or even 5-10 minutes if your baby is younger than 3 months and then do what you need to do to help get them (and you) back to sleep.
“PRACTICE OVER PERFECTION”
- Unnati
Step 1: Enter the room
Take the first step by entering their room and standing by the crib. Sometimes babies can sense you nearby and some can calm down just from your presence. You can either stand by the door, go sit in a rocking chair, or stand by the crib—any of these will work.
Step 2: Use your voice
Use your voice by singing, shushing, or saying the sleep phrase. The sleep phrase is a constant thing you tell your baby each time you place them in their sleep space. For example, "We love you very much. It is sleep time. We will see you when it is wake-up time." If the sound machine is on then you may need to turn it down a little so they can hear your voice over the sound machine. Remember to turn it back up when they fall back asleep.
Step 3: Pacifier (optional)
If your baby takes a pacifier and you are okay giving it to them then replace their pacifier. You can scatter a few around their sleep space if the baby is already crawling around the whole crib so they can easily grab one on their own. But I do not recommend this all the time. Use this ONLY IF NEEDED. If your baby only calms down with the pacifier then I would probably skip this step and try to introduce them to these other soothing steps to see if something else may help calm them down.
Step 4: Touch them
Pat or rub them while they are inside their sleep space. You can also add slight pressure to their belly to see if that is something that will help calm them down. If your baby responds well to this and you end up using this step in the future to help calm your baby down then remember to only apply touch until your baby is calm and not until they fall asleep. For example, you want to pat them using rhythmic motion while their cry is strong, as the cry decreases then you can slow down the patting, and then eventually replace the patting with pressured touch when they are calming down. Once calm, you can remove your hand and allow them to fall asleep independently. If they start to cry again then repeat the process as needed.
Step 5: Jiggle Jiggle
Jiggle your baby or the mattress a little. The jiggle motion can help soothe some babies due to the rhythmic motion it provides which imitates the womb. If your baby is in a bassinet, then you can jiggle/sway the bassinet slightly. Sometimes just putting a little pressure on the belly and doing a slight jiggle is all it takes to help calm a baby down.
Step 6: Pick them up
If soothing them in their sleep space does not work then pick them up to rock or hold to help calm your baby. Rocking, bouncing, or swinging in your arms helps a lot of babies calm down fairly quickly. Some may get too stimulated though if this is done too often causing naptime to become the new playtime so use this one with some caution. Remember to just do it for a few seconds depending on their age and not until they are completely calm.
Step 7: Feed them
If all else fails then you can feed them. Feeding is usually the last resort and I would probably cycle through the steps a couple of times before doing this step especially if their last feed was recently or if you know they may not be hungry. If you suspect hunger is the issue then cycle through this once and feed them at the end. Try your best not to form a feed-to-sleep association though by keeping them awake during the feed.
How can new parents implement the Soothing Ladder?
Implementing the Soothing Ladder involves understanding your baby's signals and responding in a way that meets their needs. When using the soothing ladder you want to make sure YOU are ready to allow your baby to start practicing some of these skills before implementing it.
Here are some tips for using the Soothing Ladder:
- Start at the bottom step (step 1) and work your way up as needed. It's important to start with the least intrusive strategy and move up the ladder if your baby is still upset.
- Pay attention to your baby's signals. If they're showing signs of hunger or discomfort, respond to those needs first.
- Be consistent in your approach. Using the same strategies each time you soothe your baby can help them feel more secure and get them back to sleep sooner.
- Don't be afraid to try different strategies. Every baby is different, and what works for one may not work for another. Be open to trying different strategies to find what works best for your baby. If this does not work then no worries. There are other methods out there to help get your baby to sleep. You may even need to use a combination of these steps all at once to help soothe them which is also fine.
- Once you figure out what ways your baby likes to be soothed then you can revert to those strategies each time you need to attend to them. For example, if your baby responds well to you entering the room, your touch, and the jiggle and simply enter the room, go place your hand on them to jiggle them with slight pressure until they are calm enough. As they calm down, remove the pressure and eventually your hand to allow them to fall asleep on their own.
The Soothing Ladder is an effective and gentle method for new parents to help soothe their baby. By understanding your baby's signals and responding in a way that meets their needs, you can promote healthy attachment and emotional regulation, which are essential for your baby's development. It's important to remember that the Soothing Ladder is not a one-size-fits-all approach, and what works for one baby may not work for another. However, by using the ladder as a framework and being attuned to your baby's signals, you can find the strategies that work best for your little one.
In addition to using the Soothing Ladder, there are other things you can do to help soothe your baby, such as creating a calm and quiet environment, reducing stimulation before and during sleep windows, and following a consistent routine that promotes healthy sleep. Remember that soothing your baby is not about "fixing" their crying or making them stop, but rather about providing comfort and support yet still allowing them to practice self-regulation skills of their own. To learn more about how crying can impact your baby please READ THIS BLOG.
Additional Resources
Have a new baby at home or soon expecting one to make their grand arrival? Be sure to bookmark this blog so you can reference it at a later time or consider some of the other support options I offer below. Understand—that you do not have to do this alone. My team and I are here to help you take on this thing called parenthood by filling your parenting toolkit with the essentials (plus some more) you need to come out victorious. If at any point in time, you are feeling overwhelmed or unsure about how to help your baby sleep better, don't hesitate to reach out for guidance and support. My email, my Instagram DMs, and even my text (for my 1:1 clients) are always available and I am more than happy to help.
Here are some resources that are available to you:
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