Signs of an Overtired Baby and How to Break the Cycle
Story Time…
As a new mom, I didn’t even know my baby could get overtired. Why? Because I thought she would just sleep when she was tired. And because she was always happy and playful I did even think to put her down to sleep. I thought, oh let’s let her play since she’s playful. Boy was I wrong. I started implementing awake windows but by that point, my daughter was already in an overtired cycle. I had no clue what to do in order to break it and help get her to sleep better. She would cry endlessly when I attempted to put her down to sleep and by the time I got her to sleep, she would be up for a feeding or a diaper change so the sleep cycle wouldn’t last long.
I needed help.
But that was the old me. The new me knows exactly what to do and I am here to help you figure out the signs of an overtired baby and how to break the cycle.
So what is overtired anyways?
Your baby can become overtired when they have not gotten sufficient sleep. One of the main reasons this happens is because they have been awake for way too long between naps or before bedtime and did not reach their daytime sleep goals. And if this happens often then your baby could get into an overtired cycle of exhaustion. Which can be exhausting for them and YOU.
Once they are overtired and they miss the optimal sleep time, their body starts to produce hormones that make it difficult for them to stay calm and sleep: cortisol and adrenaline.
Cortisol is our body’s stress hormone causing high levels of stress and feelings of alertness and inability to sleep. Adrenaline is our body’s “fight or flight” response and increases the heart rate and blood pressure. As you can imagine, when our body experiences these responses, it can be very difficult to relax into a sleepy state. Instead, your baby will stay alert, wide awake, and fussy. An overtired baby has a harder time falling asleep, staying asleep, and settling or calming down.
SIGNS OF AN OVERTIRED BABY:
Fighting sleep throughout the day and night due to the high levels of cortisol (stress hormone)
Fussiness and inability to be soothed as easily as before
Hyperactivity
Numerous night wakings
Shorter than usual naps
Stiff and rigid body
Change in appetite
Inability to be soothed as easily as before
Irritability and cranky throughout the day
Extra clingy and won’t let you put them down
Crying after waking up in the morning and after naps
Constantly showing sleepy cues, zoning out, or staring into space
Is your baby showing signs of them being overtired? If so keep reading and learn how you can break the overtired cycle.
HOW TO BREAK THE OVERTIRED CYCLE:
1. PAY ATTENTION TO THEIR TIRED SIGNS:
I like to use the goldilocks principle in explaining this. You do not want to put your baby down when they are under tired or overtired. Instead, you want to put them down to sleep when they are “JUST RIGHT”. How do you know when they are ready to be placed down to sleep? There are two parts to this puzzle. Pay attention to those age-appropriate awake windows and their tired signs. We will focus on awake windows next but first, let’s talk about those signs. This graphic was one of my most popular Instagram posts in 2021.
2. FOCUS ON AGE-APPROPRIATE AWAKE WINDOWS:
If you are confused about the sleepy or tired cues or if you have a baby that is constantly just showing them throughout the day then focus on the awake windows. You want to start implementing these from day 1 with your baby. You should also reassess them every 4-6 weeks since they can change so often and yes those 10 extra minutes will make or break that nap. Click on the image and save it to your image library to reference when needed.
Here is a little hack on how you can find that optimal awake window for your baby: SLEEP LATENCY. Pay attention to how long it takes them to fall asleep. Ideally, it should take your baby (younger than 2) about 10-20 minutes to fall asleep after placing them down in their sleep space. If it takes less than 10 minutes then you may need to shorten the awake windows slightly and if it takes more than 20 minutes then increase the window slightly. If you have a child older than 2 then their sleep latency can range from 10-30 minutes.
3. HAVE A CONSISTENT ROUTINE:
This is something you can start using from day 1. The routine acts like a signal to your baby that every time you go through those steps then the last step is for them to fall asleep. The more consistent you are with it, the easier it is for your baby to understand this concept. A nap time or bedtime routine is personalized to what works for your baby and family.
Here are 4 main components of a bedtime routine that you should have:
1. Nutrition-Milk
2. Hygiene- Bath, wipe down, brushing teeth
3. Communication- Books, singing, prayers
4. Physical Contact- Cuddles, massage
4. SOOTHE YOUR BABY HOW THEY LIKE TO BE SOOTHED:
Use something like the soothing ladder to help you figure out how your baby likes to be soothed. Some can calm down from just your presence while others need more personal attention such as rocking or swinging from you or some prefer the pacifier. You can soothe your baby till they are calm enough to attempt to fall asleep on their own or you can soothe your baby till they are sleeping. Remember, it’s all about practice so it is totally okay for you to place your baby down asleep especially if they are overtired. The goal is for them to sleep and for you to practice independent sleep skills.
5. REDUCE STIMULATION:
Too much stimulation for an already overtired baby can make it harder for them to relax and fall asleep. Limit the background noise, activity, and even the number of people they are around. Take your baby into a low-stimulated room a few minutes prior to sleep time to help limit the stimulation.
6. CREATE A CALM AND RELAXING SLEEP SPACE:
Their sleep space should be safe and always sleep on their back in a crib or bassinet with a flat and firm mattress. Using a sound machine and keeping the room dark promotes sleep allowing them to fall asleep and stay asleep longer. If you have a newborn or a baby under 2 months then some naps can occur in daylight but start to practice a few naps in the dark if possible. Once their day-night confusion gets better and circadian rhythm forms around 8-10 weeks, you want to practice more naps in the dark. This being said, you can totally have naps on the go as needed but while your baby is in an overtired cycle try to have them at home in their ideal safe sleep space.
7. MAKE SURE BABY IS COMFORTABLE:
Make sure your baby is well-fed, comfortable, and in a clean diaper before placing them down in their sleep space. If your baby is waking up from short naps hungry then offer them a top-off feed about 15-20 minutes before their awake window ends. Be sure to give this feed in a bright room so they do not fall asleep during the feed. After their feed is done, complete the rest of the nap routine as you normally would and place them into their sleep space.
8. STAY PATIENT:
Stay patient and consistent with your efforts. It may take some time to establish healthy sleep foundations so stick to it. The more consistent you are the easier it will be on you and your baby. Remember to always give yourself grace, be kind to yourself, and never blame yourself. You are just surviving the season you are in and it too shall pass.
Still, confused about your baby’s sleep patterns?
Do not know what else you can do to improve their (and your) sleep?
Let me help. I have worked with hundreds of families to get them from being overwhelmed to thriving in parenthood and I can do this for you too.
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REFERENCES:
Bruni, O., Baumgartner, E., Sette, S., Ancona, M., Caso, G., Di Cosimo, M. E., Mannini, A., Ometto, M., Pasquini, A., Ulliana, A., & Ferri, R. Longitudinal Study of Sleep Behavior in Normal Infants during the First Year of Life. Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine : JCSM : Official Publication of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, 10(10), 1119-1127. https://doi.org/10.5664/jcsm.4114
Gupta, S., & Mittal, S. (2013). Yawning and its physiological significance. International journal of applied & basic medical research, 3(1), 11–15. https://doi.org/10.4103/2229-516X.112230
Meltzer, L. J., Williamson, A. A., & Mindell, J. A. (2021). Pediatric sleep health: It matters, and so does how we define it. Sleep medicine reviews, 57, 101425. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.smrv.2021.101425
Mindell, J. A., & Williamson, A. A. (2018). Benefits of a bedtime routine in young children: Sleep, development, and beyond. Sleep medicine reviews, 40, 93–108. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.smrv.2017.10.007